


and paint him in greens and golds (he is ours)

by Vee017



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Loki, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Pre-Movie(s), Stillbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 15:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4612371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vee017/pseuds/Vee017
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Odin sighed tiredly and shifted the bundle in his arms.  It wasn’t heavy by any means, light as a little bird despite its chubbiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and paint him in greens and golds (he is ours)

_One step, two steps, three steps…_

_One foot in front of the other… ignore the weariness, you can rest soon._

Odin sighed tiredly and shifted the bundle in his arms. It wasn’t heavy by any means, light as a little bird despite its chubbiness; no the bundle was not the weight he carried but the aftermath of a war that had raged on for too many years had taken its toll - as well, the news that had been delivered to him less than a fortnight ago had left him in private sorrow.

 

The baby that rested in his arms did little more than coo at him while being hidden away beneath his cape, concealed from the realm, and brought secretly into the palace. He was grateful for the child’s quietness, though had it started crying, he would have cast a silencing spell around them to avoid detection.

 

 _You are a tranquil little thing,_ Odin thought with an amused smile. _You’ve been quiet from the moment I held you._

 

He didn’t like to think on how he found the child, naked and alone. It only brought forth his anger towards the one who ordered it left there.

 

_Laufey. How could you…_

The child was a runt. That had been clear from the moment Odin had seen it. Jotunheim was a harsh world and only the strong survived. The weak and the small were generally culled off. Left on the ice to starve and die.

 

_It seems not even royalty is exempt, little one._

The markings on the baby’s forehead told him all he needed to know of its lineage. Odin’s own mother, Bestla, had been Jotun. It was from her, before her death, that he had learned what she could impart to him about his Jotun heritage. A heritage that many on Asgard seemed to forget during the course of the war.

 

Sighing, he held the baby closer and smiled at its happy chirrup.

 

“Almost there…”

 

The night was late, and he was glad. Otherwise he would have had Thor underfoot by now. His son was nothing but energy, often compared to a hurricane by any who spent even a moment in his presence.

 

Yes, Odin had long suspected that a storm brewed inside his heir. His moods were already bringing the rain. Odin sent a silent prayer to the Norns that Thor was actually asleep. He did not need to be interrupted during this.

 

Nodding his head to the guards at his chamber doors, he allowed them to open them as he slipped inside. No one save Eir and two of her Healers had been in these room for almost two weeks. The feeling of the rooms made his heart sink. Everywhere he looked he only saw black. Black curtains, black carpets, she had even turned the furniture black.

 

_Oh, my Frig. My darling wife, I am sorry I was not here._

 

Odin made his way through their living quarters and entered the bedroom. The curtains were drawn closed around the bed. Settling the child in one arm, Odin pulled the cords and drew the curtains open. The sight of his wife was enough to break his heart.

 

Pale and drawn, and even in sleep her face showed signs of her grief. She could not relax even in slumber. Her hair curled and tangled in all directions. For eleven days she had been alone in her desolation. None in Asgard yet knew. It had been her decision to wait. The war was ending, the people were starting to hope, they were in good spirits for the first time in years and she did not want to mar it.

 

_So selfless, my Queen, to suffer this alone. But I am with you now, and we shall mourn together._

“Frigga.” Odin palmed her face gently, and smoothed her cheek with his thumb. “Frigga.”

 

He watched her breathing change, and her eyes start to lift. She stared at him unseeingly for a time, before blinking back the rest of her slumber.

 

“Odin?”

 

“I’ve returned to you.”

 

She clasped his hand in hers, her eyes welling up. “Odin.” She cupped his cheek, “Your eye…”

 

“A small price for the Casket of Ancient Winters. It lies safe in the vault, it is no longer a threat to the realms.”

 

He had cleaned up before he saw her. The baby may have smiled at his blood stained face, what an odd little being to be unafraid of him then, but he could not meet his wife straight from battle. The Healers had cleaned the blood from his face and wrapped his eye, but he shied away from any other treatment. Other bodily injuries he took care of himself when he changed out of his armour, safely away from prying eyes as he wrapped the baby once more in his cloak. The same baby who was kicking its chubby little legs against his chest.

 

“Oh, Odin!”

 

Frigga flew up into his arms, and he carefully put some distance between her and his right side.

 

“What is it?” she drew back immediately. “Are you injured? Why didn’t the healers look at you?”

 

“I’m not injured.”

 

“Then what-“

 

“There’s something I have to show you, please do not be upset with me. I could not leave him there.”

 

Frigga furrowed her brows and ran a hand along his cheek. Placing a kiss to her palm, he withdrew the cloak from the child, exposing it to Frigga’s view.

 

The baby blinked in the low light, and continued to happily chew on its fist.

 

“Odin. Where did you…?

 

“He is Jotun,” Odin explained, squeezing the baby’s foot gently which earned him a gummy smile. “I found him on the ice, alone and abandoned likely due to his small size.”

 

Frigga covered her mouth as she stared at the infant, her gaze fixed on his little waving fists.

“I thought… I thought we could give him a home. And with the way things are now between Jotunheim and Asgard maybe one day, one day he’ll be the one that brings our realms together again.”

“Oh, Odin…”

 

“I know this does not replace the one we lost…”

 

Frigga let out a watery laugh, fresh tears spilled down her face as she held her arms out for the baby. Setting him in her arms, he watched her cradle him close.

 

“I’m sorry you were alone.”

 

“You are with me again,” she said.

 

“If you are not all right with this… we could give him to a noble family. There are some with children Thor’s age.”

 

Frigga shook her head. “No, no this is where he belongs.” She stroked his dark hair.

 

“A son then? I’ve been calling him ‘him’ that myself, but was unsure.”

 

“What?”

 

“I wasn’t sure what we were going to raise it as. The child is both male and female.”

 

Moving the blankets, Frigga took a cursory look, before bundling him up again.

 

“Are all Jotun?”

 

“They’re all dual sexed, yes. I don’t know how it will be raising him where people are only one or the other, but I can use magic to make him wholly male physically, so he doesn’t feel any differently.”

 

Their Jotun son would already face many differences growing up. Odin hoped to minimize them, especially with the anti-Jotun sentiment that had come out of the war. As things were now, it would take millennia for Jotunheim to be welcomed by the realms again. Longer if Laufey’s legendary stubbornness out-reigned them all.

 

“No.” Frigga’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Let him be as he is. When he reaches that age, it’ll be his choice.” Frigga wiped her eyes and smiled at him.

 

“I would ask if you saw him in your visions, but I know you cannot say.”

 

Frigga only nodded. “Loki. I want to call him Loki.”

 

* * *

 

 

Her heart hurt in the morning’s light, changing the colours in the nursery. But these colours were not for Loki, they were for a brother he would never know. A son she would never again hold.

 

She watched the blue and purple fade only to be replaced with green and gold.

 

_“What was his name?” asked Odin._

_“I called him Balder.”_

 

Frigga blinked back tears as she held Loki a little bit tighter to her chest. His tiny hands grasped at her necklaces as she pressed a kiss to the crown of his head.

 

_“What will we tell the people? I will not have Balder unmourned-“_

_“We’ll tell them you had twins.”_

_“Odin-“_

_“They will not understand adopting a Jotun child into the royal family. It was a vicious war, and I fear the people have lost themselves to hate. They will never accept a Jotun in line for Asgard’s throne. Furthermore, if they know what he is, I cannot be there to protect him all the time,” Odin sighed heavily. “He will be safer, Frigga. If they think he’s ours. He’s a child. He’s innocent in this conflict, but they will see nothing but his race. I cannot let him grow up in a world that hates him.”_

Loki smelled of powder and lilacs. She bounced him lightly as she walked around the nursery, colours changing as they went.

 

Odin would make the announcements in three days. Of twins.

 

She would always carry the heartbreak of Balder’s stillbirth, to lose such a wished for child. Birth rates in Asgard were low and she did not think she’d have another child after Thor. The pregnancy had been difficult, and the baby large. But when Eir had given her news of a second pregnancy she had known nothing but joy. A joy that was lost when she heard no cries – only silence.

 

Loki could never replace her lost child, but he would help her heart heal from the pain.

 

“Mama!”

 

She smiled and turned towards the door that Thor came barreling through. Loki’s eyes were wide and looking around for the source of noise that had disturbed his quiet.

 

The maid apologized and Frigga waved her off, she needed to be with her boys. Thor had spent most of his time with his minders while she had been grieving. He was excited to see her after what his mind probably assured him was an eternity. Thor wrapped his arms around her legs and squeezed. He was going to be a strong one, she could tell. He had strength and energy in abundance and an enthusiasm that left them all exhausted by the end of the day - her little whirlwind, never sitting still for a minute.

 

“Hello, my darling.” She ran her hand through his hair.

 

“What’s that?” He asked staring up at the bundle in her arms.

 

“Can you be still for me? You must be careful with him, Thor.”

 

Frigga knelt to the ground and let Thor peer into the blanket.

 

“This is your little brother,” she said. “His name is Loki.”

 

Thor stared at him for some as Loki wriggled in the blanket. He had seemed excited when she and Odin first told him he would have a sibling. But now she started to wonder, with the baby right in front of him, and the minimal response, would he still like the thought of having a brother? Would he be jealous?

 

“Can I hold him?”

 

Frigga smiled, fears disappearing like smoke on the wind.

 

“You have to sit down.”

 

Thor sat hurriedly and waited.

 

“You have to be gentle with him, Thor. He’s very small right now.”

 

Thor nodded eagerly as she conjured a pillow on Thor’s small lap. Placing Loki on the pillow she helped Thor wrap his arms around Loki to hold him properly. She kept one hand on Thor’s arm that cradled Loki’s head.

 

“Hi, Loki. I’m Thor, I’m your brother.”

 

Loki cooed and smiled, kicking his legs.

 

Thor grinned and looked up at Frigga happily. “Mama, look, he likes me.”

 

Frigga smiled warmly, eyes welling with joyful tears.

 

“I like him too,” Thor continued. “He’s a nice baby.”

 

Thor leaned down and kissed Loki on the forehead, Loki squirmed laughing. They sat like that longer than Frigga thought they would. Thor’s usual hyper energy and boisterousness was calmed around Loki. It was the first time she had seen him sit still for longer than a few minutes; and he seemed content not to move, just watching Loki and getting her help to rock him.

 

“I’m glad you like him.” She brushed a lock of Thor’s hair from his face. She’d have to start braiding it soon. “And as his big brother, it’s going to be your job to look after him.”

 

“I will, mama,” said Thor, looking up at her with bright blue eyes, “He’s my brother.”

 

END.

 


End file.
